Cuz Everybody Needs Some Good LOVIN....

So.... I'm trying this new approach to my "interactions with potential interests," as I so eloquently prefer to refer to my dealings with niggaz these days. Basically, my modus operandi within the first few months of our "interaction" is LEARN, OBSERVE, ASSESS. I try to learn as much as I can about you and who you are, while extending you the same privilege. I then observe certain behavioral and character traits, keeping an eye out for any blatant red flags or flashing caution lights. I then begin the final stage of assessment (usually comes around the 3rd month), where I take into consideration all of these things and decide whether a relationship seems practical and/or promising.

I know... it's a lot, right? Well had you gone thru all the BULLSHIT I have in the past, you'd have your own elaborate system of checks and balances, too. No more diving in head first and letting "whatever happens happen." Noooooo. This recession is REAL and the Devil is WORKING, so we gotta screen these niggaz THOROUGLY these days.

One very CRUCIAL element that you might want to take note of is that nowhere above was anything even remotely sexual mentioned or implied. And that's because there is no sexual element to my "interactions" anymore. NONE. Absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever. And that, my friends, ESPECIALLY FOR ME, is the hardest part of all.

Let's look at my current prospect, SilentPartner. Granted, I've known SilentPartner for well over 8 years, and we have our own brief sexual history (which probably makes holding out that much easier, because I already know what I'm in for once we get there). But we've both decided to try once more at pursuing our professionally-veiled interest in one another (since we both dance together and lead an organization that we both helped to co-found)... hence the name SilentPartner.

It's not so much about keeping "us" a secret or on the D/L, but more about not being so vocal about the fact that we are "talking" (I REALLY hate that term, but whatever), because among our circle of mutual friends, we're very well aware of how damaging they can be to a relationship—particularly in the early stages—and we want to avoid that at all costs. I'm also intent on maintaining a clear separation between MY family and friends and my relationship. Been down that road before, and already very well aware of the problems it can potentially cause as well.

SP is a really good guy.... very intelligent and level-headed, college grad, a NUPE, good job, INCREDIBLY passionate and talented dancer, great conversation, great sense of humor... almost sounds too good to be true. We've been "interacting" for about two months now, but in the entire 8 years of knowing SP, I've never really been able to identify any flaw of his, from a friendship standpoint and just in general. He does appear to be mildly emotionally suppressive, which is a slight caution sign in the Book of The Phresh Prince. But that's why I've been paying particularly close attention during this observation period, because as it stands now, he doesn't really have any marks against him on the "cons" side of the list.

Even further, SP is extremely understanding of where I am right now and stands behind my whole approach to our "interaction." He doesn't want to rush anything, and he feels comfortable letting me take the reins and steer this thing to where I want it to go. Sometimes I feel like we're taking things a little TOO slow... but taking a look my past dudes, the speed I'm USED to clearly doesn't have the greatest track record for success, so let's try something new. I haven't even so much as KISSED this dude yet. And that's a BIG thing with me. *fans self*

I think I see potential here. Which is BIG, given my current mental state. Because I don't WANT to see potential with ANYONE right now. I'm in a place where I'm kinda learning how to enjoy the freedom of single life, and how to enjoy myself... doing things and going places SOLO (except eating out, that's just really sad), learning new things about myself, trying out different things to find out what I do and don't like... and I'm not really sure if I want to place all that on hold to jump RIGHT BACK INTO the relationship pool, a pool that I feel like I'm all too familiar with (if SP makes the cut, this would make my 8th serious relationship in 7 years).

But we'll see how things go with this one. Even more interesting.... we'll see how long I hold out with this sex thing. *sad Lil Mama face game PROPER*