So once again, I’m back in The Single Club. I think this stay may last a little longer than the others (it’s already approaching 5 months). It’s a lot easier this time around, as far as coping and dealing with the breakup (mainly because I had a very supportive circle around me this time to help me through and keep my mind off of things) and adjusting to single life once again. My whole M.O. has been ME, ME, ME. I’m not entertaining most of the foolishness of other guys, because I’m accepting the fact this time around that, while almost completely over him, I’m still in a damaged state. I don’t need to run as quickly as possible into someone else’s arms and affections to make myself feel better this time. I want to make sure I take some time to embrace myself, become reacquainted with myself, absorb and capitalize on a lot of the lessons and experiences that this last relationship brought to the table. So far, so good. I feel much better about myself with this one than with any other breakup in the past.
I have to say that the one thing I’ve really been forced to pay attention to is what has been LACKING with most of my previous relationship choices. With most, but not all, the missing common denominator is unquestionably SUBSTANCE. Most of my relationships have been built on something stupid or simple.... and many of them have revolved significantly around and relied heavily upon sex. I’m in absolutely no hurry to jump back into another relationship, but I can assure you, the next one will be handled MUCH differently from jump street.
I must say, I am NOT used to being single for extended periods of time. The majority of my gay life has been spent boo’d up, in serious relationships for the most part. I’m definitely not used to complete and total detachment from romantic and/or sexual involvement. I told myself that I wouldn’t go and “hoe out” with this breakup, and I’ve held true to that, to date. But even while I am content with my current single status and I’m not really looking for anything right now, I find myself at times fighting with the longing to touch and be touched, to hold and be held, to kiss and be kissed.... is it wrong to still long for these things??
Jesus, be an Ambien CR in the cold and lonely moments....
I have to say that the one thing I’ve really been forced to pay attention to is what has been LACKING with most of my previous relationship choices. With most, but not all, the missing common denominator is unquestionably SUBSTANCE. Most of my relationships have been built on something stupid or simple.... and many of them have revolved significantly around and relied heavily upon sex. I’m in absolutely no hurry to jump back into another relationship, but I can assure you, the next one will be handled MUCH differently from jump street.
I must say, I am NOT used to being single for extended periods of time. The majority of my gay life has been spent boo’d up, in serious relationships for the most part. I’m definitely not used to complete and total detachment from romantic and/or sexual involvement. I told myself that I wouldn’t go and “hoe out” with this breakup, and I’ve held true to that, to date. But even while I am content with my current single status and I’m not really looking for anything right now, I find myself at times fighting with the longing to touch and be touched, to hold and be held, to kiss and be kissed.... is it wrong to still long for these things??
Jesus, be an Ambien CR in the cold and lonely moments....
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