“You can think what you want to think about me.... you can say what you want to say about me..... you can make whatever judgments you’d like, you can perceive me from the surface however you’d like..... but at the end of the day, after all the time you’ve spent and energy you’ve wasted, I am still content in the life that I live, doing me, being me, and moving closer to my goals and dreams..... while you are still forced to live the life that you lead and play with the cards that you’ve been dealt. How bitterly sad that must be for you.”
It never fails, no matter what. Whenever I get to a place when I’m happy with the way things are going, or whenever I settle in and get comfortable with what life has tossed my way, out come the haters and the naysayers. It’s like clockwork. I’m approaching a place right now where I’m so above negativity, and it seems like no matter where I turn, that’s all I seem to find surrounding me. To call it frustrating would be an understatement.
I consider myself to be, more or less, a pretty easygoing, happy, positive, pleasant, good-natured individual. And for the most part, I keep to myself and my circle of friends/associates. So it perplexes me to no end that people continue to come for me for no apparent reason. It seems to be increasing much more as of lately.... everytime I turn around, someone else is throwing shade, somebody new has something to say, somebody else is running around popping off about what’s going on with me and my life. It’s childish and late, for lack of a better term. I’m growing as a person, and I guess learning how to look past the negativity is all a part of that..... but it does tend to get to be a bit much at times.
A lot of the it centers around my past and my “reputation”..... and some of it is just built atop ridiculous foolishness that makes absolutely no sense and holds no merit whatsoever...... but the majority of the negative foolishness I have to deal with comes from what people contrive in their own minds based on their perceptions of me as a person and how I carry myself, how I live my life, who I surround myself with, et cetera.
I’m beginning to buy into the whole idea that what I’m giving off on the surface (for whatever reason) might not be the best portrayal of who I am, and maybe I should work on finding a way to better translate and outwardly project the two things people seem to find most intriguing and engaging about me: my genuine and expressive personality coupled with my captivating intellect. I’m not sure if I’m wrong for thinking this way..... maybe I should continue with my whole “fuck the world and what other motherfuckers think” mentality. Except it’s hard to not care what others think when it starts to affect the way that you’re viewed and treated by some of those closest to you.
It never fails, no matter what. Whenever I get to a place when I’m happy with the way things are going, or whenever I settle in and get comfortable with what life has tossed my way, out come the haters and the naysayers. It’s like clockwork. I’m approaching a place right now where I’m so above negativity, and it seems like no matter where I turn, that’s all I seem to find surrounding me. To call it frustrating would be an understatement.
I consider myself to be, more or less, a pretty easygoing, happy, positive, pleasant, good-natured individual. And for the most part, I keep to myself and my circle of friends/associates. So it perplexes me to no end that people continue to come for me for no apparent reason. It seems to be increasing much more as of lately.... everytime I turn around, someone else is throwing shade, somebody new has something to say, somebody else is running around popping off about what’s going on with me and my life. It’s childish and late, for lack of a better term. I’m growing as a person, and I guess learning how to look past the negativity is all a part of that..... but it does tend to get to be a bit much at times.
A lot of the it centers around my past and my “reputation”..... and some of it is just built atop ridiculous foolishness that makes absolutely no sense and holds no merit whatsoever...... but the majority of the negative foolishness I have to deal with comes from what people contrive in their own minds based on their perceptions of me as a person and how I carry myself, how I live my life, who I surround myself with, et cetera.
I’m beginning to buy into the whole idea that what I’m giving off on the surface (for whatever reason) might not be the best portrayal of who I am, and maybe I should work on finding a way to better translate and outwardly project the two things people seem to find most intriguing and engaging about me: my genuine and expressive personality coupled with my captivating intellect. I’m not sure if I’m wrong for thinking this way..... maybe I should continue with my whole “fuck the world and what other motherfuckers think” mentality. Except it’s hard to not care what others think when it starts to affect the way that you’re viewed and treated by some of those closest to you.
everyone has a past. i, for one, know that "repuation" is not a fair representation of a person. just a series of conclusions pulled from various events (from the outside looking in, mind you) from one's life... and compiled into a value judgement. sad thing is that people would much more eagerly believe reputation as being fact than let said person "represent" their self. in short, fuck whoevers talking shit.
ReplyDeletei feel so out of the loop but w/n it at the same time. i hope you feel like maybe you can be your complete self w/ me. hopefully. i'd much rather talk to you about this than send you a comment. but yeah, people can't be a good friend to you if they don't know who you really are, and if you're afraid to show them who you really are then maybe you shouldn't consider them friends. ppl grow up and grow a part; maybe your detachment from your past is an indication that some ppl belong in the past as well. not to say you leave all that you've come from to arrive at where you're heading BUT everyone isn't supposed to arrive at the end you w/ you.
ReplyDelete@ Sii:
ReplyDeleteand the thing i don't understand is why people are so quick to form and attach themselves to these preconceived judgements, especially when you don't know me from Adam.
@Meeks:
It's definitely a conversation that we should have. And you've definitely given me some food for thought. It's funny how all the cliche sayings and proverbs all seem so insignificant until until you find yourself in situations where they make perfect sense...
I'm so about to steal the statement at the very top. Some folks I know need to hear it. 2 snaps.
ReplyDelete